how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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