i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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