He kissed a someone with a penis
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
