I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
