dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
