how can u be prego again
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
