After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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