Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
In America we eat man semen.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
