I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
