I cockslap morals
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
two words...techno handjob
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
