Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
