they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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