Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My feet surprised me
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