You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
