What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
