I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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