it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize