Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize