dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
