make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize