Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
