get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
