saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
