Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
