I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
