oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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