I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
