they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
