I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
