how can u be prego again
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
