I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
