So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
