party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
