thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
