i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
