I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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