That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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