Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
