Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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