It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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