I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
