No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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