id be glad to
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
