The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
