I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Liz is crying about burritos again.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
