i need an iv and a liver transplant
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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