Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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