ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
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