gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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