some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
