gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
