She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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