I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
