Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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