after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
