Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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