Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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