Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
